Saturday morning was all headaches and fatigue. Drank salt water and took paracetamol to ease the pain, then went to Redhill and spent a bit of money on CDs, DVDs, shirts and socks.

And I bought "Gears Of War" for my Xbox 360. This has to be the best game I have ever played. The whole thing is so immersive and cool, the design is nigh on perfect. And there's this gun that has a chainsaw bayonet! I haven't had much of a chance to play it, only about an hour or so, and most of that was spent getting killed because I was refusing to take cover and wanted to go for glory kills. Not many of those happening around these parts, bub.

Then Saturday evening was all about our mate's 50th birthday party. He hired a barn in Newdigate and they had a slow-roasted pig on a spit, a folk-ish band, and a free bar. Again, I drank a fair bit and didn't sleep until 3am.

Sunday was more laidback. Lunch with friends and then a little trip to see more friends. Then I came home and watched Family Guy until 12am. My advice? Don't drink a bottle of Lucozade Energy before bedtime. Thankfully I'm not too tired today.

Hopefully this evening will yield more Gears Of War. If you've got a 360, get this game.

But.

I came back to my beloved Oracle (for "beloved" read "cunting hell shit for chips"), only to be greeted by the following message:

And the more I click the "OK" box, the more it appears and humilates me. I have had to bring up the old Task Manager and end the fucker.

I think it's safe to assume that I don't like chart music. And it's even safer to assume that if I engage someone in a conversation about music, the main crux of my ramblings will concern some rather esoteric artists and I will lose the person whom I am engaging. I'm not a snob, I just listen to lots of different things, and it's usually something you've never heard of.

Here are some bands I like, some of them are more well known than others, but they're all excellent.

The big three:

Explosions In The Sky - Now playing on my iPod as I sit here typing. They're a quartet from Austin, Texas who have helped to shape and define the genre over the last couple of years. Using just two guitars, a bass and drums, they manage to engage you more in one song than some bands will in an entire lifetime. Listen to "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place", if you can.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Pretty much credited with fashioningthe genre into what it is today, GY!BE have been around since the mid-90's. They're a large ensemble of multi-talented musicians, and even though they sometimes tread the thin line between boredom and brilliance, they encompass the whole post-apocalyptic feel of the genre. I like "Lift Yr Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven".

Mogwai - Scottish moody gits, again credited with making the genre what it is today. Without these people you wouldn't hear half as much of the quiet/loud dynamic that exists in modern music. Though some of their albums are less brilliant than others, they all piss over Post Rock wannabes. Check "Young Team" or "Rock Action".

The rest:

65daysofstatic - Sheffield based genre benders, these four lads fuse melodic Post Rock instrumentation with a beastly drummer and insane drum beats. Think Squarepusher making love to Mogwai with Explosions In The Sky on in the background and you're very close. Both their albums are sublime: "The Fall Of Math" and "One Time For All Time". And they're so good live.

Mono - Always compared to Mogwai, but a standalone band in their own right. Hailing from Japan, they're just about the best thing that Japan has ever produced (besides all the great electronics gear), and after listening to just a couple of their songs, you'll agree. I enjoy "Wakling Cloud And Deep Red Sky, Flag Fluttered And The Sun Shined", if only for the epic song "Halcyon (Beautiful Days)".

Hammock - Their new album "Raising Your Voice... Trying To Stop An Echo" is sure to make it into my Top 5 for the year. Hard to describe but I guess they're equal parts ambient, shoegaze, post rock and electronic. Some vocals can be found, but they don't detract from the quality on display.

Pelican - I've never really been that big on Metal, but Pelican have made it sound good to me. Some massive riffs and quality drumming over technical droning (if it can ever exist). And no deep-throated vocals to make you cringe. Check out "The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon The Thaw".

This Will Destroy You - Ok, they don't do much that's new, but there is quality in abundance here. Their debut EP, "Young Mountain", was my favourite musical release of the last few years. In 6 songs they manage to cover a lot of different musical areas, yet still engage you all the way through. I can't wait for their album, whenever that comes. In the meantime check out "Young Mountain", and especially the track "The World Is Our_____".

Sigur Ros - THE most commercial post rock band, but don't hold it against them. Yes, they have singing, but it's in Icelandic so it may as well be another instrument. Jonsi has a great voice, and they're all very good at what they do, especially Kjartan. Bastard. Check out anything from "Agaetis Byrjun" onwards, that's when they started finding their feet musically. And yes, you do recognise that song from the Planet Earth trailers on BBC1.

Can't be bothered to write any more, and I'm sure you can't be bothered to read any more. There are thousands more bands that I like, but these are the cream of the crop, and a great introduction to the genre.

If anyone wants copies then let me know. If I know you personally I'll burn them to CD, and if not then I'll edit this post and put links to Megaupload-esque sites. But be warned, you might need WinRAR to unzip/unrar the files.

For starters, I hate that Fergie bird. Why name yourself after some slag who married into royalty and wrote shit childrens books about some fucking helicopter?

Wikipedia is quite useful for finding the links between things. First of all I started off looking for Gotoh guitar tuners, but there wasn't much on that so I started reading about Joe "Satch" Satriani, one of the most skilled guitarists ever made.

From there I started reading about his recurring themes of aliens, and stuff. Then I happened upon "Redshift". So I started reading about all that stuff, then onto The Metric Expansion Of Space. It's all very interesting.

It was a good film, marred only by the niggling doubt that perhaps more of it was scripted as opposed to spontaneous. Also, someone sitting in my immediate vicinity had dog dirt on their shoe and it made me feel nauseous.

More ideas:

Idea 1:

More days off for everyone. And it's getting dark really early, we should adopt the cowboy way of life and work from "sun up" 'til "sun down". Or more likely 12-3. Or not at all...

Idea 2:

Cheaper petrol. No, scratch that... Free petrol. Until recently, petroleum in Dubai was free at all petrol stations. This was a good idea, because it's not like you'll be ragging your car for miles, you have to come back to Dubai to fill up, so it's not that much of a strain on the environment.

Idea 3:

Chocolate AND a toy.

I cannae wait to have a fair few beverages this evening with the work chums. I hope and pray that more foodstuffs are invented; or at the very least some interesting conversations about superheroes, and perhaps the odd game of mercy mercy.

Yet, they are also among the tastiest of maize based snack. Does this mean that all smelly things taste great? I'm sure tramps do not. Perhaps there is a sum to figure out the tastiness of something based on its smelliness... "Oh no!" I hear you cry, "That sounds like a job for maths!"

I always hated maths at school. They tried to pass it off as a lifesaving instrument: "You will use maths every day for the rest of your life". That wasn't barked at gunpoint, but it might as well have been... My argument was based on everyday situations where you don't need algebra, Pythagoras or equilateral triangles to make toast, have a dump and point and laugh at those less fortunate than yourself.

But now I know the truth.

You have to use maths when eating crisps. You have to work out all manner of equations when consuming those crispy little blighters:

How many crisps are in the bag? What if someone comes along and pinches one or two or three? What if more people come and nick them? How many do you have left then?! Eh?!?!?!

Picture the scene. You are in a pub. This pub does not serve food. You need to procure bar snacks for sustenance. How many people are you and your party? How many bags? Say you're on a budget, how many crisps per square bag per person per second per second? Now who's laughing?!

I thought about how much I bloody love them. I thought "How can 3 people make such a big racket?".

If you haven't heard OXES then more fool you. They are quite simply unlike anything you'll ever hear. There's two guitarists and a drummer. No vocals to distract you from the riffery.

And that's precisely how OXES gets you and beats you about the neck and face: with a big glove of distorted riffage. They boast a repertoire of massive riffs, and then they lay them over some fiendish time signature changes and BPM swaps until your ears are as confused as that bi-curious lad who used to be in Corrie. Or Eastenders... I forget which one.

I also thought about how OXES put out a split 10" with a band called Arab On Radar (who are rather shit). But the good bit is that they didn't actually work with Arab On Radar. They just recorded themselves messing around trying to sound like Arab On Radar; and with songs like "Rough Gay At The Office" and "Fallopian Boobs", they managed not only to take the piss out of their musical style, but also their propensity for shit song names.

When they released the 10", Arab On Radar were mildly irked. And so were their fans.

I love you OXES, make more music.

Here is their second album, "Oxxxes". My personal favourite:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=97DGY6J7

I'll probably put more links up if I can be bothered. Check it.

Re-asserting assumptions based on experiences today:

The shower should have a motion sensor on it that ceases the flow of water when you are leaning in to adjust the temperature; thus ensuring that you do not get drenched in sub-zero temperature water, or likewise in water that feels like it has sprung from the Devil's own japs eye.

The sandwich toaster needs to brown and toast the bread far quicker. I had time to run upstairs and fashion my barnet in the time that the Breville-esque device managed to serve me breakfast.

People need to quit their jobs and stay at home so that I don't have to sit in traffic each day. This applies to weekends as well, no one should go shopping when I want to go.

Everybody needs to stop asking me questions. And by everybody I just mean the temporary staff. They can see that I am pre-occupied with looking busy.

They need to place the cans of 5 Alive: Berry Blast in a much easier to access position within the fridge, my hand gets stuck in the plastic divider things and to the untrained eye it would appear that I am providing the refrigerator with "hand relief". This needs to stop.

Again, no more questions. Especially when I'm on lunch. I'm clearly listening to music, why else would I buy these massive headphones? Well, besides the improved sound quality over inferior "in ear" earphones.

Carphone Warehouse should change their name to Earphone Warehouse. How much can it cost to change just one letter of your company name? Likewise, Canon should rename themselves Cannot.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall when DC Comics were "thought cascading" (not brainstorming, that's offensive to epileptics). I would imagine the process went something like this:

"Right, this superhero needs to have some awesome powers. Like be really strong, have icy breath, and fly"
"Right on, he should be able to stop time and shit"
"Yeah, like, fly around the world and affect all manner of crap. I think he should have every super power ever thought of"
"Word"
"........."
"Erm... I think we made him too perfect. No one can kill him. Even people who think about killing him can't even think those thoughts."
"Shit. Well, we have to make him allergic to something... What's the name of that planet he comes from?"
"Krypton"
"Right, the only thing that can kill him is Kryptonite. And all the bad guys can have an abundant supply of the stuff"
"Cool, Superman rocks!"

No he doesn't. He's too OTT. They made him so perfect that they had to fall back on the cliched get out clause to make him fallible.

I've decided to write a blog that I'll actually keep updated. I have decided this because I have not very much to do in my spare time at work. I also like green, so I've made this green. If you don't like green I suggest you switch to a blog with more neutral shades.

Not a lot to report at the moment. I had some beef and horseradish sandwiches, and half a double decker, and now I'm listening to the new album by Hammock. It's very good.