I usually dream that I am living at my old house, even though it looks exactly the same as my current house. And the people that are close to me are often in my dreams, even though they'll look like strangers or co-workers who I don't know very well. And then at some point they'll morph into complete strangers that know my name.

My dream last night was very bizarre.

My Dad had bought me a Nintendo Wii, but he kept it a secret from me. It wasn't my birthday, and I hadn't expressly asked for one, so how he came to get one for me is a mystery. But anyway, I'm rambling...

He had mounted it inside my desk, much like a retro arcade cabinet, and he unveiled it to me in the garage of a house over the other side of the road. There was all smoke and lights and stuff, and it was really rather exciting! When I saw it I was very happy. But then my brother started arguing with me.

I wanted to put it in a spare room in the house, but he wanted me to put it in the room that serves as his bedroom when he is staying with us. I was against this idea because I knew that he would want to play on it all the time, and I was quite upset at the thought of having to share it with him. If anyone gets to play with my Wii, it should be me.

The dream ended rather abruptly.

It was sickening. It's basically a load of American girls with rich parents. These girls are horrible, vapid people with nothing better to do than cry when they don't get their own way.

Surprisingly they shouldn't really have an excuse to cry because they are constantly getting their own way. The girl that this particular episode was focusing on was dead set on going to India. She wanted her parents to pay $20,000 to get her there and so on. When her parents denied her, she felt really upset so she simply had to go out and get a makeover ($3,500). I know I would do exactly the same if my parents told me I couldn't go out drinking one night.

Then she "invited" her parents out to dinner, even though they would be paying for the pleasure. She took every effort to wrap herself up in a sari (very badly I hasten to add), and then proceeded to order to starters and greeted her parents with a golden nugget of information: "If you want a potato dish it's called 'Aloo'. Aren't you amazed at how much I am learning?!?!?!!1?!23431432431? LOL!".

She got the trip in the end, but I hope they film a follow up where she gets to India and has to sleep in a cockroach infested hut. Mind you, she'd probably be used to being surrounded by cock(roaches), and if she isn't used to it yet then she should prepare herself for her future career.

The shower itself went very well and was very invigorating. However, in my haste I somehow overlooked the fact that there was no towel in the bathroom. I had to call out to my sister to fetch me a fresh towel.

I am sure you are all aware that many snack food manufacturers use a chemical known as "monosodium glutamate" in their foods to enhance the flavour. This is usually in powdered form and is applied to the food in the cooking or preparation process. Chinese food is rife with "MSG" and it is really quite bad for your health in any substantial quantity.

Anyway, I am going off on a tangent. Basically, I have found the monosodium glutamate of Cinema...

I have known about this movie MSG for quite some time, in fact I have spent over three quarters of my life trying to fathom the phenomenon.

They are called "Slidey Moments", and they can occur at any given moment in any given film. They enhance the quality and enjoyment factor of the film manifold, but over-use of Slidey Moments can ruin the celluloidal experience.

Basically, a Slidey Moment is one in which either the main character or supporting cast (or in some cases, both these parties) are involved in an event wherein they begin to slide. The catalyst can be a muddy slope ("Jurassic Park"), a water slide ("The Goonies"), a blade of grass ("Honey I Shrunk The Kids!"), or anything with an angle of more than 20 degrees.

Sometimes you may not even be aware of the Slidey Moment until it has passed. I, personally, am so used to experiencing Slidey Moments that I barely bat an eyelid at their unfolding.

I do know this. Slidey Moments can make a bad film into a good film, and a good film into a fantastic film.

Music
Guitars
DVD Boxsets
Video Games
Snow
Driving at 70+ MPH
Shooting guns
Ninjas (and Ninja associated paraphenalia)
Pizza
Subtle comedy
Quoting funny tv shows
Sky Sports
Sky+
Late nights and later mornings
Quiet cinemas

Dislikes:

I just accidentally deleted everything I had written, so here goes a quick rehash. Sorry for the lack of devotion here, but I am now annoyed. There's no order here, just read it.

1. Knocked over some baby oil in the shower. Nearly slipped and died. My feet are still oily and slippery, 10 hours later.

2. Held a massive slash in for 45 minutes during a meeting. Upon leaving the room I ran to the toilet and spent a whole 3 minutes pissing. It made me laugh, good thing no one was around to hear me.

3. Threw a snowball at my Dad.

4. Drove my car in a straight line, even though the wheel was fully locked to the right. Good thing there was no one around to see me.

5. I'm listening to The Flaming Lips.

6. I drew a face on my orange. I'll eat him in a bit.

7. I went to the pub with Paul at lunch. Had a pint of Coor's. This probably caused me to have trouble holding in my slash later in the day.

I can't remember the rest, but what a day!

I can finally retire with a load of moolah in the bank. I can't believe it!

As people? No, I cannot say that all coffee drinkers are bad people.

As timewasters? Yes. There's nothing that irks me more than coffee drinkers who queue up in front of me at the downstairs shop thing at work.

I go down there expecting to purchase a single bag of crisps. This act, in itself, should take no more than 20 seconds. After a customary "Hello", some polite manners, and a customary "See you later", I should be walking away from the shop with my bag of crisps in tow. But no, not today.

Today I had to wait for around 6 minutes whilst the three coffee drinkers in front of me ordered their stupid cappucinos and mochachinos and whatnot. If I had known that I would be faced with a queue then I certainly would not have left my desk.

And the person directly in front of me was almost as visibly annoyed as I was. I mean, who buys a Hot Chocolate and some breath mints? If you've projected that said beverage will leave you with troublesome breath, don't order it in the first place.

It would seem there is a formidable group of bloggers building up here. I like the little community we are building for ourselves.

Meet the gang:

gingerwooton: Found this man wandering the streets of blog.co.uk. He came to Steve first, commenting and the like, and we found his blog to be particularly genius. Don't forget to ask about Mum!

HectorHemulek: Again, like ginger, he is a blog artiste.

GrumpyBloke: He's grumpy.

The flight was Godawful... Stuffed into a cattle class seat for 12 hours. The flight out there was only 8 and a half hours, but the neglected to tell us that they had to stop off at Al Ain, Saudi Arabia. We had to stop to pick up a new crew and refuel.

Then when we got to Gatwick, we had to wait for an hour for our bags to come through. Then when we got a couple of taxis booked, my rucksack got left on the trolley (thanks to my brother not noticing it) and I had to race back to Gatwick to pick it up. Good thing I managed to get it because my wallet was in there, along with my iPod, PSP, DS and headphones. And 400 Marlboro cigarettes. And a couple of great books.