All Audi drivers are cunts. There is no two ways about it, they're all shits. They will take any and every opportunity to cut you up, drive right up your arse and create a general annoyance to you whilst you are driving along.
This morning I peeked out of my driveway to see if any cars were coming, and there was a massive gap for me to pull out into. It was bloody massive, I tell you. So no sooner have I pulled out than this knob jockey in a black S5 comes steaming up behind me, from out of nowhere. He started riding inches away from my rear bumper, which is pretty ineffective considering we were sitting in a long line of traffic caused by the junction at the level crossing.
As soon as there was the slightest snifter of an opening, Audi driver pulls up alongside me and attempts to cut in front. Sensing his bastardly behaviour, I kicked it down a gear and flew back into pole position. The chump was sitting behind me looking decidedly pissed off. I smiled at him in the rear view mirror. Then he does the unthinkable.
He pulls into the right hand lane at the start of the one way system and bypasses roughly 6 cars to make it to the lights. I sent a psychic message to the van driver at the front of my line, I just knew that Audi driver was going to cut in front and shave approximately 7 seconds off of his journey time.
I have warned you already, Audi drivers are prepared to pull any stunt if it means that they arrive at their destination even 1 second earlier. It's a compulsion of the highest order.
So anyway, to my dismay van driver is not quick enough off the mark and Audi driver slings into first place, leaving me a lowly 8th. I thought the battle was lost. I slinked round the corner and prepared to turn off to the left, when another Audi driver pulled up alongside and wanted a piece of the action. I stopped him from getting in front and he had to slow right down and indicate to get someone to let him in. To my absolute joy no-one let him in. Classic cool.
So a mild victory over a silver Audi helped to sweeten the deal somewhat. As I ventured up the road to work, I caught myself thinking about that time that I stopped the silver Audi from cutting in front of me, that was a good time. All of a sudden I caught sight of the black Audi S5, he had dropped his kid off to school and wanted to get back on to the road. I powered myself in front and slowed right down, creating a 3 car tailback that prevented him from joining the main road.
I pulled into work with a huge grin on my face, it has set the day up nicely.
On another note, Kia drivers are just plain awful at driving.
