Sweet Jesus I just had breakfast at work. It was very much appreciated. It's like a little treat to myself for enduring another week of work, especially after the busy nature of yesterday which was Thursday. I only had time to do one lowly blog post, and this will not suffice. Today I will be on top of my game, and don't you forget it.

This afternoon we have a meeting which will involve some form of presentation and a lot of boring work-talk. It's during these presentations that I tend to drift off and think about ideas for sketch shows and short stories. I have had a couple of ideas this morning that I can flesh out during this meeting. One idea came to fruition over breakfast when some people were telling us about being taken to one side to be told off for using the internet outside of breaks and lunches. I suggested that a form of diversion be made towards the individual "spies"...

One of these would involve throwing a Yorkie over yonder, thus rendering the vicinity completely clear of all females. Women only want what they can't have, and because Yorkies are purported to be "Not For Girls" this only makes them salivate more at the fact. It's generally accepted that once women have had what they want, they soon become bored and move on to the next thing. This is where the Cadbury's Buttons will come in handy, raining a hail of chocolatey bullets over a wide area, like a shrapnel grenade. This would lay down a good base of covering fire whilst some brave office soldier can get up close with a Mars bar cannon and secure the area with nougat and caramel.

But the mother of all weapons would have to be the Double Decker. This would be like the "Little Boy" or "Fat Man" bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It would be absolutely devastating and would surely buy us a good deal of time to avoid doing work. The Double Decker would be deployed from the other side of the building. This would provide a safe range for us to operate within, ensuring that no backdraft from the explosion of chocolate and nougat and the resulting panic that would likely ensue. I choose the Double Decker because it has a large mass and is rather weighty. You may think it would be wise to supplement the Double Decker with a Toffee Crisp, but the puffed rice would cause havoc in years to come. I can see it now... U.X.O. all over the shop (U.X.O. = Unexploded Ordnance). It would be like hell on earth.

It would be the dawn of a new evil.