Went kickboxing last night, didn't I? Here's what happened.
Yesterday it was Bruno Fountain's birthday. We decided that we would go for a drink after kickboxing, so with this in mind I popped home after work to grab a change of clothes and my shower gear, as I was planning on having a shower at the gym. This would leave me refreshed and clean and able to go to the pub directly from the gym. I can't stress the importance of this enough.
So that's what sort of happened really. I retrieved some clean clothes and a towel and shampoo and hair wax, then I was informed that I would have to drop my sister off at tap dancing class. Shit a brick. This act, in and of itself, made me slightly late for the kickboxing sesh. It's ok though, my reasoning for being late was accepted by all present, and we began the session.
Not more than 20 minutes in, I had only gone and norsed up my knee, bruv. The problem stemmed from the person holding the kick pad. They did not hold it at the correct angle, and in an effort to avoid hitting the holder I tried my best to land cleanly on the pad. This resulted in a severe twist to my left patella. That's kneecap to you, sarge. What a calamity. I was annoyed at the pad holder for being a donkey nonce, but the damage had been done. I sat out for a bit, nursing my ravaged knee.
Bruno was summoned to hold the pads for a bit, so he obliged. He also put on this body suit thing and took a few harsh kicks to the bod. Ouchy. It was during the flying roundhouse demonstration that Bruno held the focus pad off to his right. This enabled Jay, the instructor, to jump and hit the pad. The first kick was successful, but on the second attempt Bruno moved the pad out of the way. Jay followed through and hit nothing, thus tearing his groin muscle in the process. That was it for Jay, poor bugger. He went off to the hospital with Bruno.
At this point I took over holding the pads, seeing as I was good for nothing else. My arms took a bit of a pounding every so often, due to missed kicks and punches, but overall it was good fun. My wrists aren't half hurting today though, cor blimey.
Needless to say, we didn't go to the pub after work. Bruno was with Jay at l'hospital, so I went home and had a shower and watched a few episodes of "House" before having a sleep.
Today I am the limping wonder, slowly making my way around the office. It's not very fun, but it could be worse. Jay is on crutches. Fuck you, blooper.
